Template:VD Transcripts
This file is copyrighted. It will be used in a way that qualifies as fair use under US copyright law.
ROUTE 9
[Damon is laying flat on his back on Route 9, just like he used to do in earlier seasons. After a moment, a man in an SUV honks his horn loudly, and Damon manages to sit up just as the vehicle screeches to a halt only inches away from him. The man gets out of his car and rushes over to Damon to check on him]
- COOPER: Whoa, you okay, man?
[Damon, looking extremely depressed, holds up his hand]
- DAMON: Mind giving me a hand?
[Cooper takes his hand and helps him to his feet, looking at Damon with concern]
- COOPER: What are you doing out here?
- DAMON: [sighs] I don't know. I thought it would make me feel better.
[Cooper is obviously confused and slightly uneasy about Damon's behavior]
- COOPER: Okay. Should I call someone, or...?
- DAMON: What's your name?
- COOPER: It's Cooper.
- DAMON: [nods] Cooper... You ever done something so unspeakably horrific you couldn't even look in the mirror? Like, it literally' makes you ill to see your reflection?
[Damon stares Cooper in the eyes and compels him]
- DAMON: And be honest, now.
- COOPER: [hesitates] I ran over my girlfriend's cat a couple months ago and didn't tell her. Even though it was an accident, I threw the body in a supermarket dumpster.
[Damon doesn't seem at all impressed by this story and replies in an emotionless voice]
- DAMON: I killed the love of my life. Burned her alive while she was asleep.
[Cooper's eyes widen in alarm in horror]
- DAMON: I also beat one of her best friends 'til he was unconscious and left him for dead, if we're keeping score...
[Cooper, very scared now, laughs nervously and starts to head back toward his car]
- COOPER: I think I'm just gonna go...
[Damon stops him and stares him in the eyes to compel him again]
- DAMON: Actually, I can use a ride.
[Damon smirks at him]
[The scene cuts to inside the SUV, where Cooper is driving Damon back into town while he continues to talk]
- DAMON: I thought Elena had changed me. I thought she made me a better man, but... I was wrong. I was so wrong. It was always gonna end up this way. With me destroying her. That's what my whole tour-of-duty in the Phoenix Stone has taught me-- is that I'm permanently damaged goods.
[Damon looks over at Cooper, who has been listening silently while he drives down the road]
- DAMON: You ever feel that way, Cooper?
- COOPER: Hmm? Not really.
[Damon seems shocked at this answer, and just rolls his eyes before he responds]
- DAMON: Well, you're lucky, Coop. I'm gonna kill you now.
[Cooper looks at him in alarm]
- COOPER: Excuse me?
- DAMON: [shrugs] Oh, it's nothing personal. I'm hungry, you're food... Think of it as a stop at a drive-thru window. You know? You'll be afraid, I won't care...
[Damon thinks about this for a moment before he continues]
- DAMON: Honestly, I can't imagine caring about anyone ever again. Not a single, solitary soul...
[Cooper looks terrified as Damon smirks at him before vamping-out and lunging at him. Cooper screams as Damon bites into his neck. The camera cuts to outside the car, which has just screeched to a stop in the middle of the road]
TITLE CARD & OPENING CREDITS
BONNIE AND CAROLINE'S DORM ROOM
[It's the next day, and Caroline is laying in bed, writing in her journal to Elena while she narrates in voiceover]
- CAROLINE: [voiceover] Dear Elena. I realized I haven't written in a while. I'm sorry. Apparently, pregnancy eats at your brain. Anyway, we all miss you, and Stefan's finally bouncing back from that Phoenix Stone hell. But, he's worried about Damon... a lot more than usual.
[Just then, Stefan walks through the door with a paper bag in his hands, and Caroline stops writing and sets down her journal so she can greet him]
- STEFAN: Hey, sorry, I was trying to track down my brother.
[Caroline smiles happily at him]
- STEFAN: Curly fries or waffle? I brought both.
- CAROLINE: [gleefully] All of them. Everything. Gimme, gimme, gimme!
[Stefan hands her the bag, and she reaches into it, pulling out a smaller bag of waffle fries that she immediately starts eating. She moans in pleasure as she enjoys her snack]
- CAROLINE: Mmm, oh, my God! I love you!
[Stefan gives her a knowing smile]
- STEFAN: Are you talking to me, or are you talking to the fries?
[Caroline gives him a mischievous smile in return]
- CAROLINE: Do you want me to lie to you?
- STEFAN: [amused] Hmmm.
[Caroline leans forward to kiss him]
- CAROLINE: Hi. I love you, too.
[When they pull away, Caroline's face becomes concerned]
- CAROLINE: Did you find him?
- STEFAN: [sighs] No.
- CAROLINE: Okay. Let me just chow down on this cheeseburger, and then I will help you track him down.
[Caroline is about to finish eating her food when she suddenly yelps in surprise and grabs her belly]
- CAROLINE: Oh!
[Stefan looks at her with concern as Caroline continues to rub her side with her hand]
- STEFAN: Are they kicking again?
- CAROLINE: Mmhmm. Yeah, just... Ow!
[Caroline grabs her side harder and tries to laugh it off]
- CAROLINE: Yeah, that wasn't very nice.
[The babies seem to kick harder, and Caroline yelps again]
- CAROLINE: Ahh!
[Stefan looks even more worried and moves toward her on the bed]
- STEFAN: Hey, you okay?
[Caroline starts to look a little woozy and dazed]
- CAROLINE: Mmhmm. I think I should just, um... I'm gonna stand up.
[Caroline starts to stand to her feet as Stefan watches her]
- STEFAN: Okay...
- CAROLINE: For a second.
[Caroline gets up and takes some deep breaths as she holds her side, but after a moment, her knees buckle, and she faints, falling forward onto the bed. Stefan rushes over to her and tries to gently wake her up]
- STEFAN: Hey, hey, Caroline. Hey, Caroline!
[When Caroline doesn't wake up, he starts to panic]
- STEFAN: Caroline!
GROVE HILL POLICE DEPARTMENT
[Matt is still locked up in his holding cell, where he's standing at the door and watching as Officer Penny Ares starts to go through the contents of his duffle bag full of anti-vampire weapons. She looks extremely confused and unnerved by what she finds]
- PENNY: So, crossbow... stake gun... wooden ammo... grenades filled with, uh...
- MATT: [mockingly] Vervain.
[Penny looks at him skeptically]
- PENNY: Vervain. Right. And you confiscated this stuff from a group of zombie apocalypse survivalists?
- MATT: [curtly] That's what I said.
[Penny still doesn't seem to believe his story, but she doesn't question it further]
- PENNY: Uh-huh. I heard Mystic Falls has become a nutball magnet for all sorts of supernatural thrill-seekers. People have a lot of spare time on their hands.
[Matt looks as though he's dying to get out of there, and sighs deeply]
- MATT: Anything else, Officer Ares?
[Penny puts everything back into his bag before she turns back to him]
- PENNY: No. You're free to go.
[She lets him out of the cell and starts to hand him all of his belongings that were taken the previous night]
- PENNY: He's your wallet, keys, and phone.
[Penny smirks at him in amusement as he looks through his duffle bag]
- PENNY: PS, your MatchASingle.com notifications are blowing up. Lucky you. Mine's crickets. You can call me Penny, by the way. And, I didn't officially book you last night, so... You know, you're welcome.
[Matt seems surprised by this kindness, and he smiles at her]
- MATT: Thanks.
- PENNY: [cheerfully] Hey, chin up. Turns out, they aren't letting your town burn to the ground after all.
[Matt looks extremely concerned by this news and frowns]
- MATT: What do you mean?
- PENNY: My friend Doug got a call from the Mystic Falls city planning office this morning. They said he should come reclaim his house today. Something about the fire-risk zone being reevaluated?
[Matt becomes even more worried by this news and gulps nervously]
- MATT: Do you know what street Doug lives on?
MYSTIC GRILL
[Julian and his huge band of vampires are gathered in the Grill, where Julian is aiming a pistol at a man who is standing with his back against the far wall and an apple perched on the top of his head. After a moment, Julian covers his eyes with his hand]
- JULIAN: Just to make things interesting!
[He shoots and hits the apple, leaving the vampire unharmed. He sighs in relief, and Julian crows triumphantly]
- JULIAN: Bulls-eye! And for your courage, my bold friend, how would you like to make your new home at 224 Harmony Lane?
[He gestures toward an elderly couple sitting quietly at a table behind him]
- JULIAN: Mr. and Mrs. Leonard, here, have been called back to town so that they might invite you in.
[Julian looks around the room at his friends]
- JULIAN: Who's next?
[Just then, a familiar female voice calls out to him from the back of the bar]
- VALERIE: I'll give it a go.
[Julian turns and looks both furious and horrified to see Valerie standing before him calmly. She hums under her breath as she takes in the scene and walks toward him]
- VALERIE: Hmmm. Isn't this cozy? How nice it must feel to be surrounded by degenerate yes-men. How safe it must seem.
[Julian hesitates for a moment before he speaks, trying his best to maintain his composure in front of his men]
- JULIAN: Valerie, I'm struggling to comprehend you showing your face within two hundred miles of me.
[Valerie pulls out a postcard with a red X written on it and holds it out so Julian can see it]
- VALERIE: I really only wanted to give you something that was delivered to me by mistake. It's a shame someone won't be letting you feel safe for long.
[Julian's eyes widen in horror when he realizes what Valerie has received]
ALARIC'S OFFICE
[Bonnie and Nora are in Alaric's office at Whitmore, where they're kneeling on the floor, each holding one end of the Phoenix Sword. They're surrounded by lit candles, and below the sword is a map of the United States for their locator spell, upon which they've placed the postcard Nora received from the Huntress]
- BONNIE & NORA: [chants] Phesmatos invenira venatrixos isto gladulla onyx. Phesmatos invenira venatrixos isto gladulla onyx.
[They look down and find that the black sand on the map has made a line from Virginia to Cincinnati, Ohio. Bonnie looks at Nora with a skeptical look]
- BONNIE: Ohio? Are you sure this isn't a prank or something?
- NORA: [nervously] It's not a prank. A ruthless killing machine is on her way to hunt us all down.
- BONNIE: But why announce herself with a cryptic postcard? Isn't the element of surprise a basic principle of good vampire hunting?
[Just then, Mary Louise appears in the doorway, looking worried]
- MARY LOUISE: Not for Rayna Cruz. Rayna has a taste for taunting her victims. Like a cat nibbling the legs off a spider.
[Nora, who is clearly shocked to see her ex, stands to her feet, and after a moment, Bonnie joins her]
- NORA: What are you doing here?
[Mary Louise sees the postcard on the floor and looks even more concerned]
- MARY LOUISE: You got one, too.
- NORA: [sarcastically] And what about Julian?
- MARY LOUISE: [sighs] No. But I said we'd take care of the problem. For all our sakes.
- BONNIE: Your vampire huntress is currently residing somewhere in Cincinnati.
[Mary Louise ignores Bonnie and continues to stare at Nora]
- MARY LOUISE: Let's get going, Nora. The sooner she's dead, the better.
[Mary Louise turns to leave, but Nora stays where she is, and Bonnie scoffs loudly]
- BONNIE: Do you think I just did that locator spell for a tune-up? I'm going with you.
[Mary Louise sneers at her patronizingly]
- MARY LOUISE: We're good, thanks.
- BONNIE: Uh, I wasn't asking. The last thing I need is a so-called ruthless killing machine going after any of my friends. I need to protect them, and it's not like I can trust either one of you to take her down.
- MARY LOUISE: [irritably] And what makes you think we trust you?
[Nora glares at Mary Louise]
- NORA: I trust her. She actually cares about the well-being of others. Unlike you, who only cares about pleasing Julian.
[Bonnie looks pleased by Nora's support and gives Mary Louise, who looks jealous and hurt, a smug look]
- BONNIE: I call shotgun!
MYSTIC GRILL
[Julian is at the bar in the Grill, where he has just used a lighter to burn the postcard Valerie gave him. He still looks terrified (though still furious at Valerie's appearance), which makes Valerie smirk in satisfaction]
- JULIAN: When did you get this?
- VALERIE: There it is. That's the look I've been yearning to see.
[Valerie's voice takes on a mocking tone]
- VALERIE: Why, Julian, dare I say you seem afraid? What a shame. To think, you just made yourself a home here, and now you have to leave.
[This comment is the last straw for Julian, who turns to one of his vampires behind him]
- JULIAN: Kyle, if you kill this shrew right now, I'll throw in the Lincoln family Buick.
[Valerie looks nervous as Kyle approaches her to kill her, but before he can, Damon appears and decapitates him by throwing a menu at his neck at vampire speed]
- DAMON: [smirks] Well, I feel happier!
[The sight of Damon coupled with the death of another one of his minions causes Julian to lose his temper completely. He grabs Damon by the lapels and vamp-speeds him against the bar, where he pins him down with his arm]
- JULIAN: What did I say would happen if you ever harmed one of my men again? Hmm?
[Damon just smiles under Julian's grip]
- DAMON: Hmm, I think...
[Damon feigns as though he's thinking before he snaps his fingers for emphasis]
- DAMON: It was something about you gutting me and feeding my entrails to Stefan.
- JULIAN: Mmhmm...
- DAMON: [smiles wider] Bring it on!
WHITMORE COLLEGE MEDICAL CENTER
[Caroline is dozing in bed in one of the hospital rooms while Stefan talks to her doctor out in the hallway]
- DOCTOR: She's napping now, but she's okay. Her heart's a little weak, but the babies appear to be totally fine.
- STEFAN: [frowns] Are you sure? She collapsed. That's not normal.
- DOCTOR: [shrugs] Well, it's not abnormal, either. Her blood vessels have dilated, which can lower blood pressure.
[Stefan doesn't seem convinced, but he nods in agreement anyway. The doctor hesitates before she continues]
- DOCTOR: You know, it's best to keep the father in the loop in situations like this. Would you like for me to contact her boyfriend?
[Stefan looks at her in confusion, not understanding what she means at first]
- STEFAN: I'm her boyfriend...
[The doctor looks confused as well, now, and Stefan realizes what she's talking about]
- STEFAN: Um, yeah, no-- he's in, the father's in Dallas for a job interview. I'll... I'll call him.
[The doctor smiles and walks away, allowing Stefan to go into Caroline's room to check on her. She hears him come in and opens his eyes, smiling and sitting up slightly so she can see him better]
- CAROLINE: Hey.
- STEFAN: Hey. Scared me there for a minute.
[Stefan goes to take her hand, but frowns in concern when he sees that it's gray and mottled]
- STEFAN: What is this?
[Caroline looks down at her hand, and her expression becomes horrified when she sees what is happening]
- CAROLINE: Is my hand desiccating?!
[Stefan and Caroline both look at each other in alarm]
MYSTIC GRILL
[Julian, who still has Damon pinned against the bar, prepares to kill Damon by placing his hand right over Damon's heart]
- JULIAN: You have ten seconds to live. Any last words?
[He gets ready to plunge his hand into Damon's chest and rip out his heart, but Damon just chuckles sarcastically]
- DAMON: "Last words?" Hmm. Whoa, that's a lot of pressure. I guess if I had to, I would phrase it as a question-- What's the deal with the "X marks the spot" postcard, hmm? Who are you running from, Big J?
[Julian is clearly not pleased, but he maintains his calm demeanor]
- JULIAN: Well, that's not the concern of a dead man. Perhaps something a little more poetic? Two seconds.
[Damon ignores him and keeps talking]
- DAMON: It wouldn't happen to be a sword-wielding vixen that sent your ass straight to hell?
[Julian's expression betrays how afraid he has become after the message from the Huntress, which only makes Damon more smug]
- DAMON: Ooh! Ooh! I've hit a nerve. Hell-hottie afoot. The end times are near!
[Damon pauses dramatically before he continues]
- DAMON: I mean, I'm assuming she's hot, right? Hmm?
[After a moment, Julian lets go of Damon and starts to laugh sarcastically, though it's clear he's not pleased by the way he's acting]
- JULIAN: Hmm, I get it. You're still in a little self-destructive spiral from your not-so-fantastic voyage into the Phoenix Stone.
- DAMON: [sarcastically] You think?
- JULIAN: Well, Lily was my touchstone. She was the very thing that tethered me to my sanity. And when I lost her? Well... that's when things really went off the rails.
- DAMON: Mmm?
[Julian stares at Damon intensely, taking note of his reaction]
- JULIAN: So, who did you lose? Not Lily. Not Stefan.
[Julian gasps in mock surprise as though he's just gotten an idea]
- JULIAN: Who was that epic love in the box? Huh? Was it Helena? Or Eleanor? Or...?
[Damon sighs, visibly loathing himself after what happened]
- DAMON: Elena.
[Julian chuckles in amusement]
- JULIAN: Elena! How is darling Elena?
- DAMON: [emotionlessly] I burned her alive.
[This seems to genuinely shock Julian, and after a moment, he walks over to Damon and throws his arm around his shoulders as though they're good friends]
- JULIAN: See, I can't help but feel a little bit responsible for what's happened. Why don't we have some fun, shall we? Hmm?
[Damon looks surprised and a little unnerved by Julian's sudden kindness, but he doesn't pull away from him]
- JULIAN: You know I love games... And, I think I have just the outlet for the overwhelming pain you must be feeling.
[Julian, with his arm still around Damon's shoulders, leads him away, and Damon reluctantly goes with him]
ROAD TRIP TO CINCINNATI
[Nora, Bonnie, and Mary Louise are on their way to Ohio to find the Huntress. Nora is driving the car, while Bonnie sits in the passenger seat, and a very jealous and miserable Mary Louise sits in the back. Bonnie is eating a small bag of cheese puffs, which she shares with Nora. Mary Louise scowls at the sight of it]
- MARY LOUISE: Since when do you eat disgusting garbage food?
- NORA: [annoyed] Since I stopped caring about getting that exact reaction.
[Seeing the tension, Bonnie changes the subject and turns back to look at Mary Louise]
- BONNIE: I have a question-- if Rayna was chasing you through Europe in the 19th century, how exactly is she still alive?
- NORA: She was spelled to be a vampire huntress by shamans. They created that sword for her and imbued her with extraordinary strength. Why shouldn't they give her a very long life to go with it?
[Nora smiles and giggles as she reaches over and grabs another handful of cheese puffs from the bag while Mary Louise scowls at them from the back seat]
- NORA: Hey, do you remember that reading from class last week? You know, the one about those fragments of Native American myths? Uh, the Everlastings?
- BONNIE: [nods] Ah, the Everlastings.
[The girls giggle as though they have an inside joke, and Mary Louise is unable to bite her tongue any longer]
- MARY LOUISE: [irritably] Am I meant to be impressed you're study buddies at a second-rate college?
- BONNIE: No. But, feel free to try and be civil. Otherwise, we will be more than happy to drop you off at the side of the road, and you can hitch a ride back to whatever rock you've been living under.
[Bonnie continues to munch on her cheese puffs as she and Nora giggle]
WHITMORE COLLEGE MEDICAL CENTER
[Valerie has just arrived to the hospital to meet with Stefan and Caroline, and she's shocked when she sees Caroline's desiccating hand]
- VALERIE: Well, that's not good...
[Caroline is bordering on hysterical and looks at her incredulously]
- CAROLINE: Yeah, duh! That's why we called you. Can't you just be witchy and fix it?
[Despite Caroline's harsh reaction, Valerie looks very sympathetic to what she's going through, and gestures toward Caroline's belly]
- VALERIE: May I?
[Caroline nods, and Valerie holds her hand just inches away from Caroline's baby bump. Her hand glows red as she starts to siphon whatever is happening to Caroline. Caroline's hand starts to return to its normal color, but after a moment, a zapping sound is heard, and Valerie reflexively jerks her hand away as though she's just been shocked. Stefan frowns in concern]
- STEFAN: What did you just do?
- VALERIE: [alarmed] I didn't do anything.
- STEFAN: [confused] What's that supposed to mean?
[Valerie looks at Stefan and Caroline in shock at what she's just discovered]
- VALERIE: I think these babies are siphons... like me.
- CAROLINE: [stunned] What?!
- VALERIE: And, I'm afraid they might be feeding off your blood... As in, they're literally siphoning the vampire magic out of your body.
[Valerie, Caroline, and Stefan all look horrified by this revelation]
STILLWATER STATE HOSPITAL
[Bonnie, Nora, and Mary Louise have just arrived at a Cincinnati psychiatric facility where their locator spell has led them to find the Huntress. Bonnie looks around incredulously as they walk into the entrance hall before making a sarcastic comment]
- BONNIE: Nuthouse for the criminally insane. Sounds promising.
- MARY LOUISE: [scoffs] She is a deranged serial vampire killer. Maybe karma caught up with her?
[They approach the front desk to one of the closed units, and the nurse quickly jumps to her feet and stop them]
- NURSE: I'm sorry, I'm gonna need to see some IDs.
[Nora looks the nurse in the eye and compels her]
- NORA: We authorized personnel here to see a patient by the name of Rayna Cruz. Tell us where to find her.
[The nurse blinks, clearly dazed from the compulsion, before she starts typing into her computer to get the information they need]
- NURSE: Rayna Cruz. Room 658, north wing.
[Bonnie, Nora, and Mary Louise make their way to the north wing, though Bonnie is starting to look uneasy]
- BONNIE: So, do we actually have a plan here?
- MARY LOUISE: If we find her, we kill her.
[Mary Louise's tone becomes condescending as she sneers at Bonnie]
- MARY LOUISE: You'll probably just watch.
- NORA: [annoyed] Don't be so cavalier, okay? You know what she's capable of.
[They finally come up to the correct room, only to look through the screen on the door to find a white-haired woman laying flat on her back on the bed. Her wrists, ankles, and shoulders are bound in five-point restraints. Bonnie looks at them both incredulously]
- BONNIE: Okay-- this is your vicious, terrifying, big-bad Huntress? Got it.
[Nora and Mary Louise both look stunned when they see Rayna in her bed]
ALLEY BEHIND MYSTIC GRILL
[Night has fallen, and Julian has just led Damon into the alley behind the Mystic Grill, where a huge fighting ring has been set up. The ring is surrounded by vampires while two men viciously beat each other inside of it. Julian looks pleased by the sight of the violence as he and Damon approach the ring]
- JULIAN: I set up some sparring matches for the new residents of Mystic Falls. I thought it'd be fun to dole out the houses and their owners to the winners. And the losers? Well... The losers die, sadly.
[The fight continues on in the ring as one vampire hits the other with powerful punches as Julian smiles at Damon devilishly]
- JULIAN: It's been my experience over the centuries that the only true remedy for extreme mental anguish? Raw physical brutality.
[The crowd starts to cheer loudly as one of the vampires kills the other, and Julian whoops and cheers enthusiastically before he continues talking to Damon]
- JULIAN: You really want to feel pain, Damon? Get in there.
[Julian continues whooping and cheering with the crowd while Damon looks around, visibly tempted by this offer]
- JULIAN: Come on!
MYSTIC FALLS CITY PLANNER'S HOUSE
[Matt has just arrived at the house of the head of the city planning office to check on him after hearing what Penny said about him returning to Mystic Falls. He knocks on the front door, but after a moment without an answer, he pushes on the door and finds that it's unlocked. With his police sidearm and flashlight in hand, Matt walks into the house to try to find the owner]
- MATT: Hello? Anyone home?
[Matt continues to walk through the entrance hall and into the living room, but has yet to come upon anyone else. The house is dark and otherwise looks abandoned, aside from a handful of white candles burning on an end table and melting into puddles on the table top, and Matt looks extremely nervous]
- MATT: Hello? Doug, are you at home?
[When he gets into the farthest room in the house, he finds that the back door is wide open, which only makes him more concerned. In the living room, the television is on, but muted, and the coffee table is covered in beer bottles and other detritus. Sure enough, when Matt turns to look at the couch, he finds what is apparently Doug, laying dead on the sofa with a bloody wound on his neck. Suddenly, he hears the sound of creaking floorboards and turns to find Penny standing behind him with her own handgun aimed at him, startling and scaring Matt]
- MATT: [shocked] What are you doing here!?
- PENNY: [irritably] What does it look like? I followed you.
[Matt sighs and grimaces for a moment before he responds]
- MATT: Put the gun down. You need to leave now.
- PENNY: First, tell me what's going on!
[Matt hears the sound of someone else approaching and turns to investigate, but Penny just thinks he's ignoring her and repeats her question]
- PENNY: What's going on?
[Suddenly, a male vampire stomps in through the back door, his fangs and vampire eyes exposed, and he growls at Matt and Penny as he approaches them]
- PENNY: Oh, my God!
[She aims her gun at the vampire, who is still approaching them, and when she sees the blood all over his mouth and clothes, she shoots at him. However, when her bullets do nothing to slow him down, she begins to panic until Matt aims his own gun at the vampire and hits him clean in the heart with it. Penny looks absolutely terrified and confused when Matt turns around to face her and gives her an exasperated look]
- PENNY: [stunned] What...?
- MATT: Wooden bullets. If you're gonna wear a uniform in Mystic Falls, you need wooden bullets.
[Penny looks at him in shock]
WHITMORE COLLEGE MEDICAL CENTER
[Valerie has just arrived to see Caroline again, and has fixed a bracelet around her wrists, which Caroline looks at curiously]
CAROLINE: What is it?
VALERIE: It's a talisman spelled with magic. I'm hoping the babies will pull from it instead of you.
CAROLINE: And if they don't? They still have to bake in there a little bit longer. And I haven't even done the thank you notes from the baby shower yet.
VALERIE: If it doesn't work, I'll find something stronger. I won't let anything bad happen, I promise.
CAROLINE: Thank you.
VALERIE: My pleasure.
CAROLINE: No, really. You know, we're not meant to like each other, you and I, which makes what you're doing all that much nicer. So thank you.
VALERIE: I'll be back.
STEFAN: Better start getting used to the coffee. Doctor asked her to stay for observation.
VALERIE: The desiccation hasn't come back. I think the babies have been siphoning very slowly for a long time. She just didn't realize it. And try not to worry. It doesn't do any good. By the way, um, have you spoken to your brother today?
STEFAN: No, he hasn't been returning my calls. Why? Have you?
VALERIE: saw him... earlier at the Mystic Grill. He seemed to be very intent on getting under Julian's skin. He made quite a show of decapitating one of his men.
STEFAN: What? Why would he do that?
VALERIE: Julian warned us to stay away from his friends. Seemed like he had a bit of a death wish to me.
JULIAN: Feeling better yet?
DAMON: What else you got?
RAYNA: I'm sorry, what did you say your names were again?
BONNIE: I'm Bonnie, she's Nora, that's Mary Louise. And you're Rayna, right?
RAYNA: Sounds right.
NORA: And we don't look familiar to you?
RAYNA: Should you?
MARY LOUISE: Considering you're a murderous vampire-hunting bitch who chased us across Europe for decades, yeah, we should look familiar. You sent one of these to all of us. Ring a bell?
RAYNA: I'm afraid I don't know what any of that means. You wouldn't happen to have a cookie, would you? They only feed me through a tube these days.
NORA: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
MARY LOUISE: We should stop stalling and slit her throat?
BONNIE: No, we're thinking this couldn't possibly be the woman we're looking for. She couldn't send a postcard let alone kill a vampire.
MARY LOUISE: We don't know that for sure. Why should we risk it?
BONNIE: I'm not letting you kill an old woman whose only cold-blooded ruthless mission is to eat a ginger snap.
NORA: Bonnie's right.
MARY LOUISE: Of course she is. Bonnie's right about everything. She's perfect.
NORA: We'll keep looking. She's probably here under another name.
MARY LOUISE: I'll keep looking. You stay here and bat your eyes.
BONNIE: Go help her look for her.
NORA: Why? She's being surly.
BONNIE: Yeah, isn't that the point?
NORA: The point of what?
BONNIE: You're using me to make her jealous. And it's working. I'm tired of being in the middle of it, so just go help her look for her.
CROWD: Sampson! Sampson! Sampson! Sampson! Sampson! Sampson!
JULIAN: Sam here has never lost a fight. Perhaps the pain he inflicts will finally feel like atonement.
JULIAN: No weapons! Those are the rules! All right, Damon. I think we're done here.
DAMON: No. I want to go again.
JULIAN: I'm afraid I've grown bored of this game.
DAMON: Who's next? Huh? Who's next?
JULIAN: I am. You want to fight again? Then you fight me next.
STEFAN: Damon! Damon! What the hell's going on?
DAMON: You made a wrong turn, brother. This isn't some hell survivor support group.
JULIAN: Are you in or out?
STEFAN: Hey. Do not get into that ring. Leave with me right now. Whatever's going on, we will figure it out.
JULIAN: Are you in or are you out?
DAMON: I'm in.
VALERIE: Thought you might like some terrible reading material and some real food. Seeing as you're eating for three and Jell-O won't cut it.
CAROLINE: Uh, where's Stefan?
VALERIE: He had to step out for a bit.
CAROLINE: Step out where? Step out where, Valerie?
VALERIE: He went to Mystic Falls. Damon's gotten himself into some trouble with Julian.
CAROLINE: What?
VALERIE: No, I-I told him he didn't have to worry, that I would stay here and look after you.
CAROLINE: Yeah, of course you did. God, if you hate Julian so much, can't you just go kill him yourself?
VALERIE: What? No, it's-it's not about that.
CAROLINE: You want Stefan to defend your honor by killing Julian, so he can prove that he still cares about you.
VALERIE: No, of course not. I just...
CAROLINE: You have to go make sure Stefan's okay. I'm serious. I don't want you here with me, I want you there with him. I feel fine. So just go.
STEFAN: What are you doing? This guy's got 300 years on you!
DAMON: Then it should be a good fight.
STEFAN: Hey. That stone is still messing with your head, Damon. Let me help you get through it.
DAMON: There's nothing to get through, Stefan. This is what I deserve.
STEFAN: Deserve? What are you talking about? What do you deserve, huh?
DAMON: You don't back off, brother, I will destroy you like I've destroyed everything good I've ever touched.
STEFAN: Something happened to you. Tell me. Tell me what happened to you, Damon.
JULIAN: Will someone please escort Stefan off the premises?
STEFAN: I'm not just gonna walk away and let you fight this guy to the death.
DAMON: Doesn't look like you have much say in the matter.
STEFAN: Don't do this, Damon. Don't do this!
DAMON: Godspeed, brother.
BONNIE: Hard to believe they don't have vending machines in high-security psychiatric prisons, but I managed to snag you an oatmeal cookie. From someone else's meal tray.
RAYNA: What was your name again?
BONNIE: Bonnie.
RAYNA: You seem like a nice girl, Bonnie. What's a nice girl like you doing with two deviant vampires?
BONNIE: So you are the Huntress.
RAYNA: Mm. I don't think you can really call me that anymore. Now I'm just an old woman in a dingy room, waiting to die.
BONNIE: How did you end up here?
RAYNA: I was careless. The drive to kill... the drive instilled upon me by the shamans... it got a little scrambled in my old age. I staked a checkout girl at the supermarket. My mistake. Could you... help me with the cookie, please?
BONNIE: Mo... motus...
RAYNA: I'm afraid your magic won't work on me. Now untie my hands before I crush your windpipe to dust. Who the hell are you?
ENZO: Hey. You all right?
BONNIE: I'm fine. What are you doing here?
ENZO: It's a long story, love. Let's just say, for today, that I'm your guardian angel.
DAMON: Whoo.
JULIAN: I never had a brother. No siblings at all, actually. Seems I dodged a bullet there.
DAMON: That makes sense. You were a lonely little tadpole. That's why you need to surround yourself with lowlife, degenerate bloodsuckers like these.
JULIAN: At least I have friends. You've driven away every last soul who ever cared for you.
DAMON: Well, I guess I'll just have to cuddle up next to the fire with all my rage.
JULIAN: You're not really looking for your brother, are you? I mean, even if Stefan did come back, what do you think he would do when he found out what you did to Elena?
DAMON: Go ahead. Rip my heart out.
JULIAN: You know it's not that I wouldn't love to do it, but... are you sure?
DAMON: Do it.
STEFAN: Listen to me. If you let Julian rip your heart out, I will kill him and then every single person here will instantly rip my head off. But you don't care, do you? Your life doesn't matter and neither does mine, does it? Come on, brother. Come on.
JULIAN: If they come back, kill them!
BONNIE: Where have you been? Just fell off the face of the earth.
ENZO: You missed me! That warms my heart.
BONNIE: I didn't miss you, I'm curious as to your recent whereabouts. There's a difference.
ENZO: What, Matt didn't tell you? Thought he'd be crowing all over town he'd called in some shadowy organization to hunt me down and cage me up.
BONNIE: Matt did that?
ENZO: It didn't turn out the way he'd expected, guarantee you that. Now, look, we've got to get this body out of here before someone notices so a bit of cloaking would probably be helpful.
NORA: Are you all right?
BONNIE: I'm fine, considering I was almost strangled to death by an 80-year-old psychopath. Did you know the Huntress was immune to magic?
NORA: I had no idea, I swear.
BONNIE: That lying little weasel.
STEFAN: Hey. Where are you going?
DAMON: Nowhere in particular, I don't have a destination.
STEFAN: So you don't have anything to say about what happened back there? Huh? Huh?
DAMON: You're right, Stefan. Giving Julian the satisfaction of ripping my heart out would have been a mistake. Thanks for the intervention.
STEFAN: That's it?
DAMON: That's it.
STEFAN: You're just gonna walk away, you're gonna flip your switch.
DAMON: Flip my switch? I'm not gonna "flip my switch," Stefan. I want to feel pain. I want to feel every miserable moment of this miserable life.
STEFAN: What is this about? What did you do?
DAMON: I killed her. I killed Elena.
STEFAN: What do you... what do you mean, you killed Elena?
DAMON: It was all Henry's idea. Told me I needed to free my true self so I kidnapped Tyler and made him take me to her coffin. And then I burned her to ashes.
DAMON: So go ahead. Stand by me. Tell me you'll never walk away. Go ahead, Stefan, come on. Do it. Do it!