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It's what my Grams said. "Stay strong." I'm gonna stay strong! I'm not gonna die in this place!
Bonnie Bennett during her suicide attempt in 1994 Prison World

The Day I Tried To Live is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of The Vampire Diaries and the one hundred and twenty-fourth episode of the series overall.



The Vampire Diaries 6x13 Extended Promo "The Day I Tried to Live" (HD)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BONNIE— Determined to celebrate Bonnie's birthday, Elena convinces Jeremy that it's what Bonnie would have wanted. After piecing the broken ascendant back together, Elena, Jeremy and Damon attempt to send Bonnie a message, but the situation turns dire when they make an unsettling discovery. Meanwhile, after uncovering Stefan's secret about his great-niece Sarah Salvatore, Enzo enlists a reluctant Matt to help interfere with her life. Elsewhere, Stefan keeps a close eye on Caroline as she unconventionally attempts to cope with everything going on around her. Lastly, realizing it might be time to move on with his life, Jeremy contemplates leaving Mystic Falls for good. Tyler also appears.


In 1994 Purgatory, Bonnie sits down to breakfast by herself for the umpteenth day in a row. It's her birthday.

In Mystic Falls, Elena brings supplies to celebrate Bonnie's birthday. Jeremy is sulky and pouty about it.

Inside the Salvatore house, Caroline confesses to Stefan that she stole Bonnie's original Miss Cuddles teddy bear—the one Bonnie put her magic in in 1994. After a fight when they were kids, Caroline buried Miss Cuddles in the woods. Her mom is dying, her best friend is stuck in an alternate universe and Miss Cuddles is buried in the woods and there's only one of those things she can do anything about. Suddenly, she announces she's going to find the buried bear.

In the kitchen, Elena lets Damon know she's OK with them having kissed by kissing him again. They're interrupted by Kai. He needs their help finding Jo. He explains that after the merge, in which he killed Luke and took his powers, he seems to have absorbed some of Luke's humanity. And he feels bad, which is really harshing his sociopath buzz. He tried writing a letter to Jo and found himself crying over Jo. "I really feel strongly that Jo needs to know how sorry I am for destroying our family," Kai says. Elena thinks of something he can do for them in return.

At Duke, Enzo points out the real Sara Salvatore to Matt. Enzo is annoyed that Stefan is letting Damon think he killed her. Matt doesn't want to go along with Enzo's plan that Matt get to know her, but Enzo threatens Matt's mom, saying he found her in South Carolina.

Back at the Salvatore house, Kai says he can't repair the ascendant. Damon plays on Kai's newfound emotions about it being Bonnie's birthday and convinces him to send a message about where to find magic.

In her dorm room, Liv is wrecked over the death of her twin, Luke. Tyler tries to convince her to leave town so Kai won't get her, but she doesn't see any point in running without Luke. She wants to kill Kai.

At the Salvatore house, Damon suggests they tell Bonnie to go to Nova Scotia and find Qetsiyah's magic-soaked blood on Silas' tombstone.

In the woods, Stefan keeps Caroline company as she digs for Miss Cuddles.

Liv tries an old spell she and Luke used to use to see through each other's eyes. She sees Damon talking to Kai. Tyler reminds her that if she kills Kai, he'll come after her whole coven. But she thinks she's dead anyway. When Tyler tries again to stop her, she uses magic to knock him out.

At Duke, Matt tries to chat up Sara, but she's not interested. Enzo has a back-up plan.

At the house, Kai prepares Elena, Damon and Jeremy to pay a ghostly visit to Bonnie. He recites a spell and suddenly they're in 1994 Purgatory. But she can't hear them and they can't touch anything.

They see Bonnie watching footage of her with Damon and then cracking the oldest bourbon in the house. Damon tells them about a pact they made if they couldn't take Purgatory anymore: drain the bourbon then kill themselves. Suddenly they're all back in the real world. Kai's nose is bleeding from the magic drain. Damon scribbled notes about Nova Scotia in a book, they just need to get her to see it. Jeremy volunteers to go alone, even though it could mean he gets stuck there.

In the woods, Caroline has dug dozens of holes and come up empty. Stefan is drinking his flask and is thoroughly entertained. He tries to egg her on until she starts to get angry and levels him with a shovel. He knocks her onto the ground and she has to admit she feels a little better.

At the house, Kai is deep in his spell and clearly laboring.

Back at Duke, Matt sits on a bus bench, freezing. Sara sees him and takes pity, offering to buy him coffee and a bus ticket back to Mystic Falls.

At the house, Damon heads for the same bottle of bourbon Bonnie is drinking, determined to drink it with her. Elena wonders if she'd be with Damon if she were still human. He says she wouldn't. Elena doesn't love the answer and tries to leave the room, but she's blocked by a spell.

In 1994, Jeremy finds the atlas and opens it to Nova Scotia, but then the magic wears off. Kai can't help, he notices he's bleeding through the stomach.

Back at the house, Liv has skewered him with a fire poker. Jeremy wakes up and yells but she flings him across the room. Liv tries to immobilize Kai, but he magics a fork into her neck. Then he douses her in alcohol and holds up a candle. She tells him to just do it, but can't follow through. She takes advantage of his hesitation and flings the fork at him again. But Jeremy wakes up and sees what's happening and launches a knife into Liv's arm. Jeremy drags Kai to the kitchen and begs him to send him back so he can save Bonnie. Kai starts chanting and he and Jeremy are in 1994. Bonnie is drinking by herself and crying.

In the woods, Caroline is ready to give up the hunt when they see Miss Cuddles ear poking out of the ground. Caroline is brushing the dirt off the bear when its head pops off and her giggles border on tears. She and Stefan have a moment where it seems like they're about to kiss, but Caroline crumples and breaks down crying.

In the Salvatore house, Liv goes looking for Kai. Damon hears Liv below them and kicks a hole in the fire place, then drops the special bottle of bourbon down. The booze hits the flame below and knocks Liv off her feet and frees them.

In 1994, Jeremy follows Bonnie into the garage where she turns on Damon's car and closes the door, waiting for the fumes to kick in. Jeremy is only able to watch as Bonnie records a good-bye message, explaining that she can't take the solitude anymore. She tells Jeremy to live the life he wants and stay strong. Bonnie remembers her Grams told her the same thing. She tries to get up to turn the car off, but the fumes are too strong. Jeremy pounds on the garage door opener and is finally able to open it.

Back in the house, Damon feeds Kai his blood to heal him, Elena is able to wake up Bonnie. Later, Elena tries to give Jeremy permission to move on. She encourages him to go to art school like he wants.

Liv wakes up back at her dorm. Elena fed her her blood. Tyler stayed to make sure she was OK and then tells her he never wants to see her again. He's angry she was willing to let herself die.

At Duke, Enzo lays out his plays for Sara to Matt. He's going to ingratiate himself into her life—without compulsion—turn her into a bad person and then get her to bed him to turn her into a vampire, all to hurt Stefan.

Elena finds Damon and gives him a speech about being ready to move on from her human past, and acknowledge that no matter what happens, she keeps finding her way back to him. He kisses her and they fall into bed.

Jeremy fills out an application to art school in Santa Fe. Stefan feeds Caroline booze. In 1994, Bonnie notices the atlas open to Nova Scotia and understands what it means. She gets in Damon's car and hits the road.


Main Cast

Recurring Cast



  • Antagonists: Liv and Enzo.
  • Bonnie's birthday is established in this episode as February 5, 1992. This means she celebrated her 21st birthday in this episode, as it is established as being 2013 in Stay.
    • She is the sixth character to have their birthday shown in the series after Stefan, Elena, Caroline, Klaus, and Luke/Liv, respectively.
    • She's also the fourth to have the actual date of birth shown after Katherine, Elena and Jeremy.
    • Technically, this episode aired on her 23rd birthday on February 5, 2015.
  • As a result of the Merge, Kai is experiencing some of Luke's emotions, making him regret the pain he caused Jo and Liv. However, he hates these new emotions and longs to return to his sociopathic ways.
  • When Kai tries to get Elena to give Jo a letter apologizing for the Merge, Elena and Damon plan to use his magic to contact Bonnie in the Prison World.
  • However, for some reason, Elena doesn't have Kai siphon away her compulsion, as it is technically magic. In Season Seven, Valerie siphons away the compulsion on dozens of humans that Julian had mind-controlled into silently sitting in various Mystic Falls establishments.
    • It is likely that Elena hadn't realized that compulsion could be siphoned away, since they knew very little about how a Siphoner's powers worked at this time.
  • Elena has tried to fix the Ascendant since Kai destroyed it in I Alone so it couldn't be used against him, but according to him, only one piece survived intact. This allows him to send them over in a sort of astral projection to send a message to Bonnie about Silas' Tombstone.
  • Liv tries to kill Kai as revenge for Luke's death. When Tyler tries to stop her, she uses a spell to knock him out. After her confrontation with Kai, Tyler breaks up with her, furious that she chose death over their relationship.
  • Bonnie decides to kill herself because she can't take anymore loneliness. However, with Jeremy's astral form at her side (sent by Kai), she remembers that her Grams told her to be strong and decides not to commit suicide.
    • Her intention to kill herself was revealed by Damon when he noticed that Bonnie was drinking the oldest bourbon in the house. Apparently, while they were stuck in the Prison World together, they made a suicide pact where, if they ever decided they couldn't stand another day in the alternate dimension, they would drink the entire bottle together before killing themselves.
  • Kai reveals that since the prison world was made specifically for him, he can't actually die in it, but anyone else who is killed there will stay dead.
  • Kai is unable to kill Liv during their confrontation because of Luke's feelings for his sister, leading him to break down in tears as he tried to psych himself into doing it.
  • Bonnie finds Damon's notes on his trip to the Nova Scotian Island where Silas was buried. She plans to use Silas' Tombstone to harness Qetsiyah's magic and escape the Prison World.
  • Elena decides that she doesn't care who she was when she was human or what her feelings were before—she just wants to act on her own feelings. Damon and her then sleep together for the first time since Damon returned from the Prison World.
  • Jeremy decides to leave Mystic Falls for art school after hearing Bonnie say that she hopes he is moving on with his life and after getting Elena's blessing.
  • According to Liv and Tyler, the Gemini Coven has gone into hiding from Kai.
  • Enzo reveals to Matt that he went to visit Kelly Donovan, who is now living in South Carolina.



Behind the Scenes

  • This episode had about 1.61 million viewers in the USA.
  • Hashtag during the airing is #BonniesBirthday

Cultural References


"I would write... Dear Diary"

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Last.fm_play.png "Check Yo Self" – Ice Cube
Last.fm_play.png "Keep Goin" – Rachel Yamagata
Last.fm_play.png "Time" – Mikky Ekko




See also