Total Eclipse of the Heart/Transcript

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AT WHITMORE COLLEGE

Katherine is sitting on a bench, writing on a diary.

Katherine: (voiceover) Dear Diary, I love my life. (shot of Katherine waking up in the dorm) Seriously, becoming Elena Gilbert is the best thing that has ever happened to me. (She puts on clothes and looks at herself in the mirror.) I finally have everything I ever wanted. (She puts on makeup) I'm young, healthy, gorgeous. Everyone loves me, (shot of Katherine back on the bench) but best of all, I'm a vampire again, (she pulls out her phone and looks at a picture of Elena and Damon) so rest in peace, Elena. Thanks for giving me the perfect life, (She erases the picture and another one pops up) and now that I've corrected the single worst decision you ever made,(she deletes the second picture as well) falling in love with Damon Salvatore, (She keeps deleting pictures of Elena and Damon) I'm gonna win back the one thing I've always wanted. (She comes across a picture of Elena and Stefan and she sets it as the phone's background.)

TITLE CARD

AT WHITMORE COLLEGE

(Caroline walks into a classroom, followed by Katherine and Bonnie.)

Caroline: So we all agree? No more moping about life's little failures and no more dabbling the dark arts of boyfriends past. This is a fresh start. (She turns around to face them.)

Katherine: Couldn't agree more. I happen to love fresh starts.

Bonnie: Um, I haven't been moping or dabbling. (They sit.)

Caroline: No one likes a bragger, Bonnie.

(There's an empty seat between Bonnie and a girl in her class. The girl had her purse on the seat and Bonnie talked to her.)

Bonnie: Hey, do you mind if I share?

(The girl, without even looking at Bonnie, throws her own purse on the floor in an "I-don't-care" attitude.)

Bonnie: (sarcastically) Great. Thanks. Appreciate it.

Caroline: Today is the dawning of a new era. This is stage one of our metamorphosis into the land of the brave, the free, and the single.

Katherine: Bonnie's not single.

Caroline: Bonnie's best friends are single, which makes her single adjacent. So she can be our wingwoman. (She pulls out a flyer and gives it to Katherine.)

Katherine: 'Whitmore's Annual Bitter Ball, a night to celebrate broken hearts, jilted lovers, and bitter singles.' This is our fresh start?

Caroline: No. This is our purge, our cleanse. This is where we rid ourselves from the baggage better known as our tragic and mortifying first semester.

Katherine: I'll drink to that.

(As Caroline keeps taking in the background, Bonnie notices the girl next to her playing with her pen, twirling it on the seat's desk. But then, she keeps twirling it... by hovering her hand over it without touching it. Bonnie opens her eyes and mouth in surprise.)

Caroline: Bonnie!

(The girl looks at Bonnie and sees that Bonnie has seen her and she slams her hand on the pen, stopping it. Katherine gently hits Bonnie with her elbow to get her attention.)

Caroline: Bonnie, you in?

Bonnie: Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like fun.

SALVATORE MANSION

(Stefan approaches Damon's car in front of the house's entrance that had been crashed into a plant pot. He notices that there's blood on the car's trunk door. He opens the trunk and finds Aaron's body in it. He closes the trunk and walks inside. Damon is drunk on the couch. There's broken glass everywhere from drinking from the night before.)

Damon: Hey. Sorry about the mess. I had some company and things got a little out of hand. (He tries to sit up.)

Stefan: You want to tell me what the hell's going on out in the driveway?

Damon: Ah. I let Enzo drive last night. He's a little out of practice. (He stands up.) Almost ended up in the damn foyer.

Stefan: Huh. (He stares at Damon.)

Damon: Oh. You mean Aaron.

Stefan: Yeah.

Damon: Yeah. Well, last night, we hunted him down, and I ripped his throat out. Yeah. I just figured it's time to shove the last branch of the Whitmore family tree into the... wood chipper. (He drinks from a bottle.)

Stefan: So Elena breaks up with you, and your first instinct is to go in a killing spree? Could you be any more predictable?

(Enzo walks in.)

Enzo: It was my idea if it makes you feel any better. (He offers his hand to Stefan.) Enzo. Remember? We met when--

Stefan: (cutting him off) When you were trying to tear Damon's head off. Yeah. I remember. (He turns to face Damon.) So, what, you guys are old pals again, murder buddies, is that it?

Damon: Oh, you know how it goes. I mean, I left him for dead, he tried to kill me, we worked things out. You spend 5 years with someone in a dungeon, you have a pretty unbreakable bond. (He gives Enzo the bottle over Stefan's shoulder.)

Enzo: Say, you haven't heard from Dr. Wes Maxfield by any chance? (Stefan turns around to face him.) Bloke's next on the Augustine hit list, and he's a slippery little devil.

Stefan: (Turning around againg to face Damon.) Is that the plan? Kill off Augustine and then go back to your sadistic, psychotic old self?

Damon: I happen to like my old sadistic self, Stefan. In fact, I miss that guy. That guy was dumb enough to try and change himself to get a girl.

Stefan: Hmm.

Damon: So, get another hobby, brother, because I'm not in the mood to be saved.

Enzo: What do you say? Shall we get you a new hobby? Golf..., scrapbooking?

Damon: Scrapbooking.

Stefan: Come on, Damon. You're better than this.

Damon: On the contrary, brother. I'm better 'like' this.

(Stefan leaves.)

WHITMORE COLLEGE

Katherine is walking around campus.

Katherine: (on the phone) Hey, Stefan. Um, it's me. I was just, uh, wondering-- I mean, I know things are kind of crazy and you're probably busy, but maybe you might want to come to campus and we can get a drink or, I don't know, talk.

Matt: (back at Mystic Grill) So you're trying to get back with Stefan?

Katherine: I didn't ask you to editorialize. I asked you if that was something Elena would say.

Matt: Yeah, I guess.

(Nadia takes the phone from Matt.)

Nadia: (compelling him) Walk away and forget this conversation. (On the phone, to Katherine) Are you happy? Can I leave now?

Katherine: No. Stay close. Matt is my Elena Gilbert cheat sheet. I didn't go through all the drama of taking over this body so that I could be outed because I didn't know Bonnie's middle name, which is Sheila by the way.

Nadia: You promised we would spend some time together. How long do you expect me to sit around the Mystic Grill like some sad, lonely bar fly?

Katherine: Oh, please. Don't pretend that baby-sitting Matty Blue Eyes is some sort of hardship. I mean, didn't you lure him into your bed in Prague?

Nadia: I didn't lure him, and I wasn't compelling him to forget everything. He's not a puppet.

Katherine: Ah. Ok. I get it. You like him. That's adorable.

Nadia: Ok. I'm hanging up now.

(She hangs up.)

AT AN ABANDONED BUILDING

(Dr. Wes Maxfield enters a room which he had turned into his new lab.)

Wes: Hello. How are you holding up?

(We see a guy tied up to a spring box [bottom part of a bed])

Guy: What's going on? Who are you?

Wes: My name is Dr. Wes Maxfield, and you're Joey, right? I saw your name stitched on your work shirt when I grabbed you. (He looks at his face pointing a flashlight at him. Joey flinches and closes his eyes.) Apologies, but I never managed to make proper acquaintance of the janitorial staff before the hospital lost its funding. It's depressing, isn't it? The economy is no friend to medicine.

Joey: What do you want from me? I don't have any money.

Wes: Ironically, Joey, neither do I. (He gets an IV bag ready.)

Joey: What did you do to me? Why am I so hungry?

Wes: Well, in simple terms, I turned you into a vampire. Now, I'm gonna condition you to feed on other vampires instead of humans.

Joey: What? You're what?

Wes: Would you believe that I've already done it once? Now all I have to do is replicate it. Research is just money and time. I've got time. I'll find money.

Woman: (out of view) Perhaps I can help you with that.

(Wes grabs a scalpel from his tray and turns around to see who is talking.)

Wes: Who the hell are you?

Woman: I'm judging your crappy lab.

Wes: Still didn't catch your name.

Woman: Sloan, and I'm here to help you, so you can lose the arrogance. I'm here to offer your new funding for your research.

Wes: What do you know about my research?

Sloan: I've been tracking your Augustine experiments for months. So in return for money and protection, I have some blood I want you to analyze.

Wes: Sorry, but I'm done getting into bed with mysterious benefactors, and I don't need your protection.

Sloan: I beg to differ. (She puts a bag on a table next to them. Wes looks through it.)

Wes: This is Aaron's bag. (He pulls out a syringe out of it.) Where'd you get this?

Sloan: I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Aaron Whitmore's car was found abandoned in the middle of the road last night.

Wes: (he turns away) No.

Sloan: No one has seen or heard from him.

Wes: He's dead, isn't he?

Sloan: My guess is, yes, he's dead, and more to the point, you're next.

SALVATORE MANSION -- BASEMENT

Enzo: So, once we've finished off this Augustine mess, what do you say we do a road trip? I was thinking South America, Cape Horn. Sailed pas but never stopped over.

Damon: I'm not thinking that far ahead. (Damon opens the door to one of the cells they have in the basement. Enzo walks in followed by Damon.) Rise and shine, Dianne! How's our favorite head of Whitmore security?

(We can see Dianne Freeman on the floor against the wall with cuts on her bloddy wrists.)

Enzo: Oh, that's ironic, isn't it? You know, since we broke in and kidnapped you from your office.

Dianne: Let me go, please. (She's clearly weak.) I have two kids.

Enzo: A mother. Ah. Interesting. Well, then you can imagine how heartbreaking it would be to learn that your child committed suicide, especially when said child was actually murdered by a vampire, a murder covered up by you.

Dianne: I didn't do any such thing.

(Enzo looks at Damon.)

Damon: Now, Dianne, tell the truth. (He squats in front of Dianne to compel her.) Did you cover up a vampire attack on campus by forging a suicide note or two?

Dianne: Yes.

Enzo: Ah. Looks like the vervain is officially out of her system.

Damon: Now I want you to tell me exactly where I can find Dr. Wes Maxfield.

Dianne: I have no idea. I haven't heard from him in days.

Damon: Well, that's a shame, Dianne, because that makes you a dead end.

Enzo: Well, technically. (He super-speeds towards Dianne and snaps her neck.) Now she's a dead end.

Damon: (standing up) Onto the next.

IN THE WOODS

(Stefan walks in on Enzo digging a grave.)

Stefan: I see Damon's got you on shallow grave duty.

Enzo: Be a mate. Grab a shovel. (continues to dig)

Stefan: I'll pass. Buried enough skeletons out here.

Enzo: (stops digging and faces Stefan) I'm sensing a metaphor.

Stefan: I think you need to find yourself a new best friend. Damon's in a bad place right now, and you're not really making things better. I know you just got out of captivity and you're looking to blow off a boatload of steam, which is fine. Just... do me a favor. Leave my brother out of it.

Enzo: He mentioned you were a bit of a do-gooder.

Steafan: Yeah. You know what makes somebody walk a straight line? When they have no choice but to be the balance for somebody who's about to fall off the edge.

Enzo: Ah, but it's so much more fun when you can just commit to the leap. You're welcome to join in on the fun. (he offers Stefan a shovel) Looks like you could use it. (Stefan grabs the shovel.) Good man.

(Stefan grabs the shovel and using super-speed hits Enzo on his legs knocking him down. He tries to get up, but Stefan kicks him on the chest pushing him down on the floor again.)

Stefan: Why don't you be a mate, huh? (he puts the end of the wooden handle on Enzo's chest, but doesn't pierce him) Get in my car, start driving and don't look back.

(Enzo smiles and grabs the handle and pierces his own chest with it and he doesn't even flinch. Stefan looks in disbelief.)

Enzo: You think that hurts? I'm curious, Stefan. What do you think you can possibly do to me that hasn't been done a hundred times before? Go on. Give it your best shot.

(Stefan pulls out the shovel and turns it around, placing the shovel metal part on Enzo's neck.)

Stefan: What I do to you, Enzo, will be final. You got it? Be sure I never see you again.

(He takes the shovel, throws it and walks away.)

WHITMORE COLLEGE - DORMS

(Katherine is sitting on her bed going looking at her contact list on her phone. She wants to press on Stefan's name but hesitates. Caroline walks in.)

Katherine: Good! You're back! I need your help. (She picks two different pairs of earrings from her dresser and shows them to Caroline.) Diamond or dangly?

Caroline: Since when does Elena Gilbert accessorize?

Katherine: (trying to find an excuse) Since she's being conned to go to the Bitter Ball with her best friend Susie Sunshine. (She turns around to look at herself in the mirror while removing her earrings.)

Caroline: Look. You're not fooling anyone. I know that you're faking it.

Katherine: (obviously worried) Faking? In what?

Caroline: Please. It is so obvious. (Katherine turns around to face Caroline) I appreciate it, I do, but you know I'm on edge because of the whole Tyler-Klaus thing, so you are pretending that breaking up with Damon was no big deal. (Katherine looks relieved.)

Katherine: (pretending Caroline is right) Caroline Forbes, how do you always see right through me?

Caroline: Look, Elena. You don't have to pretend with me, (they sit on the bed) and if you don't want to go tonight, it's all good. I can be bitter, party of one.

(Katherine's cell phone starts to vibrate. She looks at it and it's Stefan. She grabs it but doesn't answer yet.)

Katherine: Do you think Stefan would want to come? (She answer the phone before Caroline can answer.) Hey! I was--heh--just about to call you.

Stefan: Hey. Listen. I need to talk to you, but I didn't want to do it over the phone.

Katherine: What's wrong?

Stefan: Let's just say it involves Enzo.

Katherine: (trying to remember who Enzo is) Oh. Enzo. Uh... Ok. Then maybe we should meet in person. Actually, Caroline's dragging us to this Whitmore thing for lonely hearts. I think you should come.

Stefan: Yeah. No, thanks. I already did the college thing. Twice actually.

Katherine: Please. If it's bad, then I'll owe you a fun time.

(Caroline looks suspicious of Katherine.)